I received several threatening emails late last night just because of my helpful nature – which isn’t appreciated by some. Shocking I know. You know me after all - no, scrub that last bit, it will be used against me. I was only doing my job. Did I not stated very clearly yesterday that I'm meant to send messages? How the hell can you get into trouble for just doing your job? It's in my Job Description after all.
And the Cat and the Frog have been deeply traumatised by current events – the Frog is currently hiding under a stone refusing to come out for fear that she’ll glitter him and he’ll then turn into a Princess and not the regulatory Prince and the Cat? Well, she was that upset that she brought a mouse home last night for a drink and shoulder to cry on and forgot to announce her arrival through the window. She put the mouse down for just a moment and now can’t remember where exactly – somewhere *waves a paw vaguely* over by the wardrobe.
So normal service will be resumed once Herself has had chance to calm down and return to her normal? good humour. Today we just have intermission photographs, oh and if she asks - you've not seen hide or hair of me.
And the Cat and the Frog have been deeply traumatised by current events – the Frog is currently hiding under a stone refusing to come out for fear that she’ll glitter him and he’ll then turn into a Princess and not the regulatory Prince and the Cat? Well, she was that upset that she brought a mouse home last night for a drink and shoulder to cry on and forgot to announce her arrival through the window. She put the mouse down for just a moment and now can’t remember where exactly – somewhere *waves a paw vaguely* over by the wardrobe.
So normal service will be resumed once Herself has had chance to calm down and return to her normal? good humour. Today we just have intermission photographs, oh and if she asks - you've not seen hide or hair of me.
23 comments:
Tell the frog he doesn't have to be a Princess - he can be a Twink.
And you're not forgiven and sending a message saying that your email is broken is not going to save you.
I'll publish the last emails from last night if you're not careful and then we'll see which side of the fence this lot are going to occupy. And just so you lot know there is a definite side to be taken here. If you sit on the fence the only thing you're going to get is splinters in your ass.
I think the vacancy for a twink frog has already been taken in someone else’s universe.
And telling everyone that they are going to get splitters in their arses isn’t doing anything to help your case - other than to prove that you in an evil, snitty mood. I’m sure that everyone feels very sorry for me, especially as I was just doing my job. Beyond the call of duty too.
There was nothing wrong with the emails the Cat sent, they were very polite; her customer service is beyond reproach – even when you shouted.
DO NOT PUSH ME. You know what the mood is like at the minute. Don't say that you haven't been warned.
*Shove*
Nooooo - I'm joking and I'm not sniggering am I?
Yet.
RIGHT. THAT DOES IT.
SCCCAAAALLLLLYYYYYYY.
HA!
She's probably aready passed through this morning, so she'll not hear you or it will be your fault because she's got splitters in her bum. Fancy wishing that on everyone, and you claim to be the Good One.
You're both completely mental. Now, back to your respective corners and don't come out until you've had a cup of tea and can be polite.
M. E.
I can fight my own battles you know - same way as I can do what I have to do in my OWN SWEET TIME.
RIGHT, which kneecap aren't you needing then?
I don't drink tea M.E. I know - they've recalled my Irish card - strictly coffee.
Sue, what is it round here that makes the world and it's friend think that it can send us to the corner? As if we'd fight. Really!
*I'll be waiting outside - bring your baseball bat. Hands riddled with arthritis and I'll still beat the melt out of you.*
I'm so sorry M.E. my partner over there always gets a bit tetchy when her hands are sore, and added to that we have the Irish temperament and the caffeine overdosing. You�re quite right � she is bloody mental - and totally none appreciative of ALL my help to boot. She�ll pick a fight with anyone and anything at the moment � including that poor frog and my cat.
And we�ve only just painted that skirting board so we can�t send her back to the corner, it�s not dry yet � or was it a boxing ring corner you were on about? I�m not sending her there, she�d cheat and put a horse shoe in her glove.
Pooks? Just smile nicely till she�s turned her back � she�s not well, haven�t you noticed from the emails that she�s started to develop Toppish tenderious? Mixing with people with dubious characters I�m afraid. There's an epidemic going on around here, no where is safe any more. You don�t what her sending you one of those Looks that she been working on.
What the heck is going on with your formatting?
Do you know nothing? Never, ever turn your back on one of those Toppish types. Not unless you can do a very quick side shuffle out of the way.
And I do think I'm going to have to contact the Chief Medical Officer - there is a severe outbreak of Toppishness around here. They're going to have to start a vaccination programme before someone gets hurt. There are only so many Top's positions open around here after all.
And I still haven't forgiven you - baseball bats at dawn!
I don't know - I think I've been yahoodalled. It's never done that before.
A vaccination programme? Good idea, get on to it straight away – we don't want any more turning; we're going to be out numbered at this rate and where's the fun in that? I mean, you've seen one corner, you've seen them all. Very Boring.
We better start drawing up a list of who needs the jab; going to be a bloody long list - we should prioritise. Think of it as damage limitation.
And YOU FORGIVE ME? There is nothing to forgive - I'm the innocent party in all of this - I was working. Baseball bat? Don’t make me laugh. With your track record you'll probably do your own knees in.
Well, some of the damage to some of them is way beyond repair, so we shouldn't waste scarce resourses there.
There's that one for a start - true, no point in vaccinating that one - too far gone there.
And that other one has probably had physiological changes that can't be undone.
Oh, what about that one.... No, I don't think so either - the needle would probably break.
Harder job than it seems this, isn't it.
And I think it's clear that I haven't forgiven you. Nope. Not yet. there is a long road to go before that scenario.
It is rather, we're on a hiding to nothing here. In fact we appear to be out numbered, it's like some sort of secret society; they probably even have funny hand shakes. Bound to really, after all I bet their hands get sore.
*Laughs*
Do you think they have LOOK competitions when they met up and oh, what about eyebrow raising training days? I'll never make a Top, I can't do that. In fact I bet they even get graded and have to wear different belts – a bit like judo.
And I don't need your forgiveness when I've done nothing wrong. I'm a Goddess I'm beyond all of that.
Done NOTHING wrong? Who do you think you're trying to kid?
I think the Masons have nothing on this lot - they could learn a trick or two from some around here.
You're not still harping on about that - I WAS DOING MY JOB.
What was that motto? Come rain, shine, sleet or hail - I will always deliver your mail. I delivered, that's all.
Before you say anything about you not sending it - I'm psychic all right? Goddess remember? I knew you were going to send it eventually and my helpful nature naturally wanted to help you out as your poor hands are so sore.
And I think you'll find that the Masons are the softer option.
Deliver my mail? You wrote my darned mail.
Well not quite, I did sign my own name.
And that was the thoughtful bit I mentioned about saving you the pain and trouble with your sore hands.
I mean I don't expect a big show of gratitude; it being my job and all that, but you know a little thank you wouldn't go a miss.
Don't stand on one leg while your waiting for that 'thank you' honey bunch.
I can't, I've still got a bad knee. And don't worry, I'll take it as read ;-)
delusional - that's your middle name.
No it's not - it's Clair - no 'e'; after my Grandmother Clara. I've a birth certificate to prove it too.
I thought you were going to bed? You just couldn't let me win the blog war cuddja?
And I've renamed you - fair deal - you renamed me.
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