We had one of our double glazing windows broken last night – we’re not really sure how it happened but hazarding a guess I thought it must have been kids with a catapult. We were watching the rugby at the time and the noise fair scared the life out of us.

Himself shot outside but no one was around even through he had a good look and he didn’t hear anyone running away either. He drove around the village afterwards to see if he could spot any kids but the place was deserted.

Luckily it only broke the one pane of glass; the stone was lodged between the two panes – the glass is toughened so I can’t see that you’d break it by throwing alone.

Next door neighbour heard it too and came out to see what it was, so that indicates how loud a noise it made. He wondered if it had been thrown up off the tyre of a passing car or bus, I couldn’t see it myself – but Simon at work said exactly the same thing today. He said if a vehicle tyre had caught the side of the stone, it could have shot out at tremendous force and that would also explain why we didn’t see anyone running away.

But it leaves you with an uneasy feeling and I didn’t settle at all well last night. It wasn’t helped by the fact I’d had a run in with my dad. He’d been in one of those moods all weekend and I’d said to Himself when we went out Saturday afternoon for a couple of hours, that he wasn’t happy we weren’t staying in to look after him as he wasn’t very well and had decided to go to bed. I won’t tell you want Himself said to that at the time – red rag to a bull.

He came in to the front room when I’d just sat down to watch the rugby match and wanted me to check his tablets – he’d dropped them and wanted them put back in the container - he has a special box that I can put a weeks worth of tablets in. I told him I’d do it during the half time break as he only had his night time ones left and he doesn’t take them until turned 10 p.m.

That wasn’t good enough – he exploded like a bottle of pop; I didn’t want to do anything for him any more - it was all too much trouble for me. Take into account at this point that I’d only just finished changing his bedding on this bed. And all this was really due to the fact that I’d gone out Saturday & Sunday afternoon, when obviously I should have been at home looking after him. I wouldn’t mind so much if he didn’t cry wolf so often. What really upsets me is when he so ill he can hardly speak to me but the minute this friend rings him, he’s on the phone laughing and joking.

Himself bits his tongue normally, for my sake as much as anything as I get so upset – but this time I suppose it was just too much for him. He told my dad a few home truths including that moving into the house and building the granddad flat on the side was the worse move we’d ever made. We were by far happier living in our flat and what he really wanted to do was put the house up for sale and move away.

I looked after my mum for years and never once begrudged the time I spent caring for her, both day and night. For a start she never moaned and she never expected me to do anything – my dad is just the opposition. She’d ask for help when she needed it but never demand, and she always encouraged me to get out and about. She recognised that I had the right to a life of my own and made it very clear that she didn't have a child so that there would be someone to look after them in their old age. In fairness my dad had always been like he is now, it’s not as if he’s undergone a personality change – he’s always been one of life’s grumpy old men. But back then at least I could get away from it, back to the flat – I wasn’t living with it 24/7, day in day out.

Himself insists that we go out over the weekend, we both work full time and we need time together, just the two of us. You know, I don’t think I’ve ever come back from a trip and had my dad ask if I’ve had a nice time – I usually come back to a ‘I’ve not been at all well’ – ‘and you left me alone all by myself’ is unsaid but hangs in the air. Yes, he doesn’t have the best of health, but I do look after him and unlike a lot of elderly people he has his daughter on call 24 hours a day.

The problem for me is I always end up feeling guilty. I even feel guilty just writing these feelings down. I looked after my mum so I should look after my dad too and not moan about it. I suppose if I’m truly honest I feel resentful that I can’t just lead my own life without having to fit it around someone else and what time I do get is usually hard fought for. He did come in a bit later and apologise for what he'd said.

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We went to another Scarecrow event yesterday, so more photo's tomorrow....