It’s just drawn on me tonight that I’ve been blogging for over a year now. I know I can talk for England but...what the bloody hell have I found to waffle on about for that amount of time?

Before anyone comes up with a witty reply - I’ll just point out that a fair few of you have been reading my waffle for that amount of time too.

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It was like a scene from Goldilocks and the Three Bears at our house last night. Child woke me up when he came to bed at just turned 1 a.m. to tell me that someone was sleeping in his bed and they were still there!

Unfortunately, for him at least, it wasn’t some blonde bombshell - he wouldn’t have minded that. No, it was an eight legged fiend that was making eyes at him. He’d pulled the duvet back to find a spider fast asleep in his bed. We seem to have more than our fair share of visitors of late too. They are what I class as field spiders - big, black, ugly things - the size of dinner plates. Yes, OK, slight exaggeration but only very slight I can assure you. They really are enormous.

He then wanted me to get up and remove it – apparently arachnids don’t have squatters rights. If I didn’t get rid of it he was going to have to squidge it and then the bed would have to be changed as he refused to sleep with bits of manky spider.

To be honest it was rather on the large side – I wasn’t that keen on going near it myself. The only person in our family not afraid of spiders is the eldest - my mum wasn’t frightened of them either and she taught him as a small child to pick them up and take them outside – he was always under the impress that Incy Wincy was lost and looking for his drainpipe.

Apparently she did try and teach me the same trick when I was young, but even back then I was having nothing what-so-ever to do with them. Youngest didn't mind them as a child either; it's just since he's grown up that they put the fear of God in to him. Eldest of course has now left home and I don’t think he’d have been too happy if we’d have rung him at that time in the morning.

As Child didn't like my idea of him sleeping downstairs on the sofa it was obviously going to be a job for Super Mummy with her magic glass and old birthday card. Child of course stayed by the door, just in case he needed to run – no, not to help me if I was attacked; just to ensure a quick get away down the stairs.

After gearing myself up – a few one handed press up (yeah right) – I very, very, slowly walked over to the bed, glass at the ready. My Gods, what a big ugly bastard it was too.

Had I got it yet? Child asked. He wanted to go to bed, he was tired, could I stop messing about. Now I’ve never smacked my kids but there have been times when I’ve really wanted to. I started to turn around to tell him I was tired too; especially as he had woken me up when I’d been fast asleep, when out of the corner of my eye I saw the bloody spider run across the bed.

I screamed like a woman - which you have to expect, as I am one – and ran to the door. Child by this time is half way down the stairs and we’d woken Himself up in the process. He wanted to know why we were playing stupid buggers at turned one o'clock in the morning. Small discussion ensued and Himself threatened to kill the bloody thing if we don't stop messing around. Please note that although he offered help of sorts – Himself never actually got out of bed. A few minutes later you could hear him snoring again.

So being the brave one, I crept slowly back over to the bed. The spider now looked as if it was thinking about getting back under the duvet - must have wanted to go back to sleep too. Taking a deep breath I rammed the glass over the top of it and scooted away from the bed. You can’t be too careful, I may have missed and the thing could have gone for my throat.

I peered over and saw that I’d scored a direct it – the monster was trapped. Round one to Super Mummy. I started to push the birthday card underneath the glass and the horrible thing lifted its front legs up and waved them at me. I got the impression that it was giving me the ‘V’ sign to tell you the truth. Telling child to open the window I managed to lift glass, card and spider off the bed.

But Child was no were to be seen. Apparently he wasn’t coming anywhere near me whilst I was carrying that thing. So I ended up flipping the glass over so the spider couldn’t get out and opened the window myself. On closer inspection I can tell you now that the spider really was an ugly bastard - it wasn't going to win any beauty contests. I chucked it out of the window, it could go and find its own drainpipe.

Child then made me check the whole bedroom in case there were any more lurking about – I couldn’t find any so he happily went to bed. I then lay awake for the next hour listening to Himself snoring wondering if there were any spiders in our room.

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We went for a walk around Croome Park again today, very pretty and a bit misty now autumn has arrived.