============================ RIP Pinky ==============================
======================== 03.02.06 ~ 28.11.06 =========================
Pinky the fish passed quietly away in her sleep on Monday night, the result of an unfortunate accident. Family flowers only, donations to Save the Whale.
Pinky the fish passed quietly away in her sleep on Monday night, the result of an unfortunate accident. Family flowers only, donations to Save the Whale.
++++
The bloody stupid thing managed to wedge herself in the porthole of the sunken galleon. It look me ages to get her out, I had to get her to go backards and fish don't do backwards. I can’t for the life of me think as to why she went in there in the first place, none the angel fish have ever shown any interest in it before. That ship cost twenty quid - and it's a death trap. The angel fish cost nearly as much.
I managed to dislodge her eventually and she swan off over to the heater. She appeared to be alright and when I checked on her later she did eat some food. We had our company’s AGM on Monday night so I thought I have a quick look to see if she was OK before sitting down.
This time the silly sod had got herself attached to the sucking part of the air filter system. I moved her away and once again she went back to the heater. I can only guess that she didn’t have the strength to release herself, it's not that strong a pull. Fish get stressed - they're not on there own - unfortunately in their case they peg it.
When I came in yesterday I found her belly up. So I had to remove her before Bruce the shark did it for me. It really was circling, quite fascinating to watch. Next came arranging the funeral – it was a quiet affair. There was only room for me in the toilet, for a start. As she sailed away, to go where all good fishes go ( the sewage works), Simon stuck his head around the door and asked me to hurry up, he needed a wee. He’d pay his own respects at the same time. OK, piss taking time was about to begin.
It got worse, Aidan suggested we should have battered it and ordered some chips, Dilys said I should have taken it home for the cat, Craig suggest a minutes silence at dinner time and Sandy said it had cost the company money, how dare it die - try telling that to the accountants, it was going to cause hell with the asset register. She said I should have mounted it and turned it into one of those singing fish.
Heartless sods. It won’t end there you know – I'll get this for days now, every joke going, boxes of tissues and I’d lay money on a certain person turning up tomorrow with a black suit and tie on. It’s already started, Jane asked me on a 'scale' of I to 10, how long will the other one last. She then said she 'fin'-ished taking the Michael for the moment, but she'd get back to me later.
I don't know how I ended up with the fish - other than I've got the word 'sucker' written across my forehead.
++++
They were introduced to the company by a previous Manager - and for reasons I won't go into yet I wasn't that keen on her. When she eventually left, the fish got forgotten. People would give then food if they passed, but that was it.
I managed to dislodge her eventually and she swan off over to the heater. She appeared to be alright and when I checked on her later she did eat some food. We had our company’s AGM on Monday night so I thought I have a quick look to see if she was OK before sitting down.
This time the silly sod had got herself attached to the sucking part of the air filter system. I moved her away and once again she went back to the heater. I can only guess that she didn’t have the strength to release herself, it's not that strong a pull. Fish get stressed - they're not on there own - unfortunately in their case they peg it.
When I came in yesterday I found her belly up. So I had to remove her before Bruce the shark did it for me. It really was circling, quite fascinating to watch. Next came arranging the funeral – it was a quiet affair. There was only room for me in the toilet, for a start. As she sailed away, to go where all good fishes go ( the sewage works), Simon stuck his head around the door and asked me to hurry up, he needed a wee. He’d pay his own respects at the same time. OK, piss taking time was about to begin.
It got worse, Aidan suggested we should have battered it and ordered some chips, Dilys said I should have taken it home for the cat, Craig suggest a minutes silence at dinner time and Sandy said it had cost the company money, how dare it die - try telling that to the accountants, it was going to cause hell with the asset register. She said I should have mounted it and turned it into one of those singing fish.
Heartless sods. It won’t end there you know – I'll get this for days now, every joke going, boxes of tissues and I’d lay money on a certain person turning up tomorrow with a black suit and tie on. It’s already started, Jane asked me on a 'scale' of I to 10, how long will the other one last. She then said she 'fin'-ished taking the Michael for the moment, but she'd get back to me later.
I don't know how I ended up with the fish - other than I've got the word 'sucker' written across my forehead.
++++
They were introduced to the company by a previous Manager - and for reasons I won't go into yet I wasn't that keen on her. When she eventually left, the fish got forgotten. People would give then food if they passed, but that was it.
One day I wandered into the meeting room and was hit by a stagnant water smell, the filter must have stopped working weeks ago and no one had noticed. I must admit to feeling a bit guilty, yes, they are fish, but it’s not their fault the bitch left them.
So I enlisted (read nagged) Craig’s help and we moved them and the heater to a bucket of clean water. OK, this could have killed them, you’re not meant to do that, but in my mind it couldn’t be any worse than what they’d been living in.
It took us nearly two hours to empty and clean the tank out – God did it stink to high heaven. It then cost the company a small fortune kitting it out again – what’s the use of being a signatory if you can’t write the odd cheque for miscellaneous items?
New filter system, new pump, new heater, real plants instead of the plastic mouldy ones, new stones, a pretty picture for the glass at the back to convince the fish that they now lived in a coral reef and that bloody ship. We then named all of the fish and introduced them to their new home.
After that they became both mine and Craig’s responsibility which also includes feeding them over the Christmas and Easter holidays – no drop-in holiday fish food tablets for our fishes. We’ve lost a few and brought a few more.
Actually I did feel a little sad at her passing, even though I joked with Scally that I was gutted – yes - I’m as bad. Good job it wasn’t Gill, I wouldn’t have been able to hide my feels on that one, he knows me - honestly, he does. When I walk into the meeting room he swims over to the front of the glass. He's just like my cat - there's the woman with the food. And I learnt long ago about black humour - show this lot your feelings and they'll crucified you, in a loving, caring sort of way, of course.
So I enlisted (read nagged) Craig’s help and we moved them and the heater to a bucket of clean water. OK, this could have killed them, you’re not meant to do that, but in my mind it couldn’t be any worse than what they’d been living in.
It took us nearly two hours to empty and clean the tank out – God did it stink to high heaven. It then cost the company a small fortune kitting it out again – what’s the use of being a signatory if you can’t write the odd cheque for miscellaneous items?
New filter system, new pump, new heater, real plants instead of the plastic mouldy ones, new stones, a pretty picture for the glass at the back to convince the fish that they now lived in a coral reef and that bloody ship. We then named all of the fish and introduced them to their new home.
After that they became both mine and Craig’s responsibility which also includes feeding them over the Christmas and Easter holidays – no drop-in holiday fish food tablets for our fishes. We’ve lost a few and brought a few more.
Actually I did feel a little sad at her passing, even though I joked with Scally that I was gutted – yes - I’m as bad. Good job it wasn’t Gill, I wouldn’t have been able to hide my feels on that one, he knows me - honestly, he does. When I walk into the meeting room he swims over to the front of the glass. He's just like my cat - there's the woman with the food. And I learnt long ago about black humour - show this lot your feelings and they'll crucified you, in a loving, caring sort of way, of course.
No comments:
Post a Comment