I spent nearly ten minutes looking at a blank page this morning trying to think what to write – unusual for me with my gift for the gab. I’ve felt a bit low Tuesday and Wednesday – not depressed, believe me that something totally different – just a bit fed up I suppose, although I’ve tried hard not to show it – not always easy being funny feeling like this, it’s a bit forced. Everyone feels low now and again, can’t be happy all the time now can you? Unfortunately if I feel like it - Himself, Trace and my boss Sandy jump on it like it’s a free drink, which to be fair I can understand, but it’s worse than the Spanish inquisition. What they don’t understand is that it puts even more pressure on me and I’ve tried to tell them this, I really have. They are all so keyed in to my moods that I can’t always hide it. They can all now spot very small subtle changes that no one else does, and panic for want of a better word. It will take time I suppose, I think in some funny way they all felt they’d let me down, which they most certainly didn’t and now they’re worried that they may miss the signs again. I don’t know why, I’m bloody sure I’m not ever going there again. No, not depressed, just a little bit low. I think it’s a little bit to do with the weather – always drizzling rain here at the moment and although I love Autumn (spelt correctly please note) I don’t like this sort of rain. I like the wind blowing, chucking it against the window, type of rain – a good storm. Work – very busy recruiting as well as normal stuff, so feeling a bit under pressure and college. I can’t seem to get into this course – just not in the mood and it’s getting in the way. I’m enjoying doing other things now; writing obviously, photography, time spent with family and friends, chatting to new friends and visiting places – in short, just living again. Something that we all take for granted, unless you lose it that is. I don’t take it for granted anymore - I appreciate all that I’ve got, everything I do. I look at the world slightly differently now, I see the little things and I hope I’m a better person for it.
OK – snap out of it woman – stop being so morose. Actually I felt a lot better when I woke up yesterday morning. Because of my mood Himself has suggested that I think of something nice I’d like to do – No, not that, some people - minds like sewers. No, let’s go out somewhere, he said. So because I wrote about Walsall Lights, I thought I’d quite fancy going there again. We are now planning a trip out on Saturday night to look at them – writing about it made me think I’d like to go there again. And what started out as just the two of us has grown to include Trace, Rich, Chels, Mags and Mike. No Matthew said, he didn’t want to go, it would be borrring. His loss – we’re going to stop for a meal afterwards so it should be a good night all round.

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OK, I feel a confession coming on…I forgot to taken my library books back and now have to pay nearly £10.00 in fines, which of course Himself will know nothing about. No, I agree it’s not something that I should be punished for – everyone has done it at one time or the other. The problem is that I’ve had them since July and have already renewed them 3 times over the internet – the sods make you take them back after that. I just didn’t get round to reading them that’s all. I had to watch Big Brother for a start. Yes, its appalling viewing, they deliberately choose a group of people that won’t get on all in the name of entertainment. The contestants themselves playing to the cameras, but, well….its addictive. It’s that bad you can’t help watching it. Then of course I joined the group and started writing, made new friends, people I could be myself with. Along came the holiday and the opportunity to indulge in buying myself a few books – for few, read 4 – so I’ve not got round to reading the library books yet – and now they are well overdue. The problems really arises from the fact that Himself may have asked me a little while ago if I’d taken them back, and I may have led him to believe that I had returned them and the books that were by the side of the bed were new ones.

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I spent nearly half an hour last night trying to re-programme my car radio. My car needed some work to get through the MOT and the battery had to be disconnected. So I read the instructions – Yes, that’s a first – and entered the code – and it wouldn’t accept it. I tried it a total of 4 times, getting more annoyed by the minute. After each attempt you have to wait a set period of time before trying again. On the fifth attempt twenty-five minutes later, it suddenly dawn on me that there was another four digit number on the card I was holding – right by the side of the words: Radio Code.

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Why can’t men put the toilet seat back down? I’m mean it’s hardly rocket science is it? Bloody hell, they mess about with everything else and are convinced they can put it back together. It really pisses – no pun intended – me off when I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night – without turning the lights on. I’ve lived in the house on and off for the best part of my life, I don’t need lights – and I fall down the loo because the toilet seat isn’t where it should be!

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I took today’s picture on Sunday when we went out for a drive around. I knew what I wanted to produce and was a bit disappointed when I downloaded the pictures only to find it wasn’t what I’d been hoping to achieve. That is, until I started to play with them on the computer – by simply turning some of them into sepia, they changed completely and I’m now really pleased with the effect. Hope you like it too.