Friday, November 02, 2007

I’m smiling. OK, it may appear a bit wooden looking but it’s a smile and I am tired, unfortunately it takes me ages to wind down when I'm like this. See, laughter lines. Yes OK, so I have those lines all of the time, but my lips are curling upwards at the side. No it’s not a sneer.

Lots going on at work and to be honest not appropriate to talk about it here, so I’ll just settle for I’m awfully busy. Tonight, Himself got all serious and gave warning that I finish work at five from now on and unless the sky is falling in, Chicken Little, I need to be home by 5.15 p.m. He’s not that happy with the 8.00 a.m. start but is prepared to give a bit on that; although it seems that working myself into the ground again isn’t an option any more. He was a little slow in telling me that - I’ve already received that lecture today from others. And I am listening to what I'm being told, I won't make myself ill again.

Fair enough, I also acknowledge that I’d carry on quite happily if I wasn’t stopped because I really can’t stop myself. I see others still working late and I feel terribly guilty if I go home, even if I did start working hours before they did. By now, if you've read my blog, you know what I'm like when I guilty myself out and although I've worked at stopping it and I know when I'm doing it, I even know why I do it and why I shouldn't do it - but I'm still not quite in control of it yet. BUT I am now moving in the right direction, that's got to good, hasn't it? Just smile and nod at this point.


I have very deep feelings when it comes to the company I work for; I strongly believe that what we do is important and that we make a difference. So I’ll always push myself to the limits and go the extra mile. At the same time I can honestly say I don’t want to start living on my adrenaline again or become ill, but it’s not like last time; this time my manager does care about me and is already putting things in place to ensure that it doesn’t all come my way.

++++

Right, what’s happened since the last blog.

Dad has been out to visit two of his old friends in the afternoon and is trying very hard to think a bit more about others and not just himself. Also got a box of chocolates and another apology from him for his behaviour, which since he’s had time to think about what he said has genuinely upset him. I don’t suppose it will last forever, but the shake up was needed and often I really have to be pushed to the extreme before I’ll but my needs first or stick up for myself – which will no doubt come as a surprise.

It was 6.30 before I got home last night so I’d missed a lot of the trick and treaters. But Youngest had done the pumpkin and taken a picture of it for me ….


That small act meant the world to me. He gone out by the time I got home but had left me a note saying he’d carved the pumpkin as a surprise and I could still have the Thornton’s chocolate. And then to make my day, the door bell rang and I found a six year old Dracula and a four year old Wicked Witch with their mum stood watching from the gate. They were just so excited - it went something like this:

Trick or Treat! (Dracula has his arms in the air with his hands claw-like and Wicked Witch had got the most amazing cackle) So getting into the spirit of it, I did the looking scared bit and jumped backwards with a scream and they both burst out laughing.

On to the important part of the proceedings – the giving out of the sweets. For that I got a: Oooo, look! Pumpkin lolly pops, thank you. Happy Halloween. Look mum, pumpkin lolly pops. We’ve got pumpkin lolly pops. Bye!

Often it’s the little things in life that make your day – I’m so glad I didn’t miss out on all of the fun.

Right, I think I'm going to bed now, I'm tired enough to sleep and not lie awake thinking. Although some of my best ideas come to me at 3.00 am :-)

2 comments:

pooks said...

Next time you publish something at that hour of the morning see if you can make the blog delete the time. If we catch you still doing stuff at that hour of the morning again there'll be a hoard standing behind me all with bats or sticks. Clear nuff?

Sue said...

I was winding down, I couldn't switch off. Although I'll admit it nearly killed me getting up this morning - and I feel brain dead now :)