And for today’s blog – The Gospel According to Pooks.

Well it made me smile and there is nothing wrong with sharing a smile occasionally – it makes people wonder just what you’re up to.

And Pooks also sends apologises on behalf of Yahoo – who she is now emailing a bollocking to – if you haven’t had a reply from her, it would appear that Yahoo is hiding emails under the mat and then sending them out willy nilly (see yesterday’s comment box).

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Affirmations for personal growth

1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I embrace my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions – except for all those which are someone else’s fault.

4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself – unless I wish to remain employed!

5. In some cultures what I do would almost be regarded as normal.

6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.

7. My intuition almost makes up for my lack of self-judgement.

8. I honour my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.

9. I am grateful that I am not as judgemental as all those censorious, self-righteous, pretentious people around me.

10. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

11. As I learn the innermost secrets of those people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet….

12. When someone hurts me I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a law suit but not half as gratifying.

13. The first step is to say nice things about myself, the second is to do nice things for myself, the third step is to find someone to buy me nice things.

14. As I learn to trust the universe I no longer need to carry a gun.

15. All of me is beautiful, even the ugly, disgusting, stupid parts.

16. Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilising myself with imaginary fears.

17. Today I will gladly share my knowledge and experience for there are no sweeter words than ‘I told you so’.

18. A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

19. Who can I blame for my problems? Just hold on a moment ……..I’ll find someone.

20. I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

21. Becoming aware of my character flaws leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.

22. To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it seem like I am giving as much as I am taking.

23. I am willing to make mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

24. Blessed are the flexible – for they can tie themselves in knots.

25. Before I criticise a man I must walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he’s angry he’s a mile away and barefoot.

Here endth the lesson. Have a nice day :)