Thank you for all the emails and comments welcoming me back as a writer – that’s me being sarcastic by the way, just in case you missed it. No, I’m not sulking and that wasn’t a door you heard slamming. It’s windy here today and the through draft must have closed it rather sharply.

I’m pissed off as it happens, but not with the lack of response; I’m used to that – feeling guilty yet? No? You want me to keep this up for days? I can you know. I can be amazingly stubborn at times. No, honestly I can - don't look so surprised.

So what has pissed me off, I hear you ask. I’ve been in work since 7.45am again and someone has nicked my butter. I went in to the kitchen to make myself a piece of toast and after it popped out of the toaster discovered my loss – I’m not keen on dry toast. Yes, I know, you probably think it’s not worth bothering about and I’m wrestling with my conscious over my feelings as it is. Bad thoughts and all that – makes me not a nice person.

But it’s not the fact that they’ve used the butter, I’d have willingly shared - it’s the fact they didn’t bother to ask. Good manners alone should have dictated that surely? And at least I’d have then known it had been all used up and replaced it. I hate the idea of plastering my name over everything I put in the fridge – it seems so mean, but at the same time I’m not keeping everyone in the company supplied with butter - no one else buys any after all, but a fair few seem to use it. Just who do they think supplies the stuff - the butter fairy?

And I’ve now got a member of staff AWL – no phone call to say they won’t be in or that they’ll ill. We’ve really tightened down on all of this of late, so if he doesn’t turn up or ring in in the next 5 minutes that well be another disciplinary hearing I’ll be doing. For goodness sake, what has happened to basic good manner around here?

Right I’m off to induct two new members of staff – something else Dilys used to do for me. I’m missing her sooooo much. I arranged for flowers, wine and chocolates to be sent to Spain this week, they should arrive today - I do so enjoy spending with the company credit card.