Youngest had a tennis match last night and my Dad was off out on his annual works meal. Baggeridge present members of staff that have worked for them for 25 years with a gold watch and membership to the ‘long service’ club, which meets once a year in a posh hotel. This year will probably be the last time it happens as Baggeridge have been taken over by the Austrian company, Wienerberger, and I doubt they will cover the cost.

Which meant that Himself decided that we should go out for a meal as well, which I wasn’t going to argue about. A good excuse not to do the ironing and no cooking or washing up? What can I say? It was a tough decision to make.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I should practice drinking alchol a bit more too – two glasses of wine and I was well oiled. It never used to be like that, two bottles more like.

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The weather here continues to be awful – no one appears to have told it that it’s summer and we are due some rays. Definitely time to think about booking a holiday. I wasn’t sure if we’d get away this year due to Himself breaking his shoulder and the need to build up the savings again.

But we both work hard all year and that one week away is very necessary to recharge our batteries. It’s also the only time I’m not at the beck and call of someone else. It will be the first time since before the kids were born that we’ll have gone away as a couple. Youngest is going on holiday with this mate’s family in three weeks time.

They are planning on going off on their own – so I’ll be making sure that his case contains condoms. Yes, nothing like an evil mother embarrassing her child. I used to drop eldest off at school and then drive past waving and blowing kisses. His mates used to find it hillarious, and do the same back to me.

That is something I miss, when eldest was living at home our house was always full of teenagers. I only see then occasionally now – I’m not half as up to date on current music and no one washes up for me. Mind you my freezer doesn’t empty half as quickly either, talk about feeding the five thousand. Youngest perfers to meet his mates at the club and play darts.

Himself could do with cheering up too – his company is moving their premises up to Merry Hell, which means further for him to travel. The amount of traffic that way will also add time to his journey. No one is very happy about the move, but a job’s a job, so unless he can find something closer to home – he’s got to move with them.

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Yes, I know this feeling only to well.

I've decided to end today with one of Scally's jokes. They make me laugh and as there's not enough laughter around I'll consider it my good deed for the day.

A German guy approaches a prostitute and says " I vish to buy sex vit you"

"OK" says the girl, "I charge 100 dollars an hour"

"Ist goot, But I must varn you, I am a little kinky"

"No problem" she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky"

So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant you to tie ze springs to each of yourlimbs.

"The girl finds this very strange, but complies, fastening the springs to her hands and knees. "Now you vill get on your hans and knees."

She duly does this, balancing on thesprings. "You vill please blow zis vistle as I make love to you."

She finds all this very odd, but figures it's harmless and the guy is paying. The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has recovered her breath.

Finally she gasps "That was totally amazing ....... what do you call that?"

"Ah", says the German,"Four-sprung duck technique"