I finished reading Peter Kay’s autobiography 'The Sound of Laughter' last night, now I’ve got nothing to read. Well that’s not strictly true. I’ve about four other books that I could read, but I know that they won’t measure up to the one I’ve just read. They would all have been perfectly good reading material if Peter Kay hadn’t been so bloody funny. He’s not everyone’s ‘cup of tea’ I know, but I appreciate his sense of humour. We definitely view the world though similar glasses – that tied in with the fact that he’s a bit younger than me so I remember the things he mentions from his childhood. It was a bit of a wander down memory lane. The other thing that made my day was the fact that the book contained several errors - the proof reader missed them - so that was something else that I have in common with him.
Which then got me to thinking ‘why is anybody interested in what I mutter on about?’ – I mean it’s hardly riveting stuff. I don’t live the film star life style, far from it. I can’t even claim the award for wonderful housewife and perfect mother. Let’s be perfectly honest here, I didn’t even make the short list for either of those - Jade Goody beat me. And there’s no point in me trying to bluff it now – I’ve been too honest in the past, everyone knows exactly what I’m like. Himself is currently up for 'The Most Longest Suffering Husband Award' – he’s made the finals and the Bookies are giving good odds on him winning.
So after giving it much thought (we can pretend, OK) I’ve put it down to one or more of the following facts; you read the blog:
a) Out of politeness because you know me or talk to me.
b) It’s become a bad habit – like smoking or biting your nails, you know you shouldn’t do it as it's not good for you; but you can’t stop yourself and the patches you buy don’t work.
c) You’re all as nosy as me – I read other peoples blogs, both real (Chris) and fictional.
d) It reminds you of things that have happened to you in the past and then you either sympathise or laugh you’re socks off – possibly both.
e) Pooks was right, that bloody dog has his paws on the keyboard again and keeps knocking that stats counter up.
Oh, that reminds me – The Leprechaun is rather busy at the moment, so those of you that fall into the B, C & D categories needn’t worry – she’s not sulking at the lack of encouraging emails that you haven’t sent her regarding her stories. Well she is but we can ignore that – she read my stories and blog and didn’t utter a bloody word. Which in all honesty now that I know her I find truly hard to believe – the woman has an opinion on everything and isn't backwards in coming forwards. Actually I do miss her; it's really quiet without her - I keep thinking I've gone blind (work it out).
And I’ve not managed to argue and insult her that much that she’s refusing to speak to me either (yet). So never fear, those of you that read the comment box as well, I can assure you that normal hostilities with begin again shortly.
And now we can move swiftly on to the photos – yes, there are yet more of them. It’s your own fault – you knew at the start that visiting here wasn’t good for you. I'm fairly sure that there's a warning attached to me, word gets around - you should have taken more notice of it.
So it’s no use now saying; I only visited once. I don’t have a problem; I can stop anytime I want to, 'cause you can't - can you? ......as the stats counter grinds to a halt :-)
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I just sat in the field (remembering my Brownie motto, 'Be Prepared', this time I took a couple of Piriton tablets first) and watched the dogs play hide and seek in the grass last night. I don't need to exercise them, they manage perfectly well all by themselves - even Billy puts the effort in for a while.
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4 comments:
Awww Bill pet!
Ok, I'm moving house - hell in a van let me tell you - and you think that gives you free rein to insult me because you think I won't know. Come on woman you know me. I have spies in the camp. Haven't actually just needed a break from packing cases and bubble wrap. In an aside, bubble wrap is fun to pop and wont get you the jail time that putting your hands around your teenagers necks and squeezing will. Cos do you know what mine are doing? They've found a pond and frogs in the new garden and they're playing who can catch the biggest frog. Cos that's essential today, isn't it. And 'where is Himself?' I hear you all cry - he's in work doing essential things that apparently are taking longer than expected but I can cope can't I?
When you hear of a distracted woman killing teenagers and Husband and her defence is a house move I expect you all to say 'Poor woman of course they deserved it' OK good.
Pooksxx
The homeless one
I haven’t insulted you(yet) – I said I missed you although the Gods know why, must be similar to toothache; you miss that when it stops. And I wouldn’t do anything when you weren’t looking, such as change the blog template – ‘cause if I did you’d notice and moan about that too.
I’m bored, do you know what happens when I bored? I fiddle with things. Ask Scally – I usually manage to block her out of everything. So if anything goes wrong now, that will be your fault as well as the deaths of one husband and two teenagers.
Oh, and do be careful driving that van – I’m truly surprised they’ve let you anywhere near it.
RS xxx
The Bored One.
Haven't insulted me?! 'The woman isn't backward about coming forward' and other such insults. But as I'm knackered I'm going to let that go.
If anyone ever gets the notion to move let me be a lesson to you -so far; I'm too shattered to even snarl anymore, I've broken three nails, bruised one toe, bruised two knees, squashed largest son's thumb, fridge which wouldn't fit through a door and which was apparently my fault (I admit to the thumb, the bloody fridge door ?) and a damaged relationship with my nephew - him who was playing with the frogs - which may be cast up to me for some time to come.
If you think your house is too small - just throw out stuff and if your partner ever suggests building you a house 'but we'll have to rent for a while' say NO NO NO. Cos you'll end up like me and making two moves because your landlord decides he needs his house back before you've built yours and you'll have to move twice and your relationship will teeter on a knife edge.
But on the up side you get to live in a cottage where you open the back door to find a pheasant on your door step just dropping by to say welcome to the neighbourhood. Didn't have the heart to tell him that I'm bringing the killer cats on Sunday - I thought I'd allow him a day of peace before he meets Bonnie and Clyde.
Oh roll on the joys of tommorow or as it's now 1 o'clock today.
Pooksxx
The one who's loosing the will to be scarcastic ( that's how bad it's got!)
I just can’t bring myself to wind you up. I could clearly win this time, but my heart isn’t in it, you poor thing.
Oh, OK – just the one small shot. After all, I’d be daft not to take advantage and you’d probably think I was ill if I didn’t or that I didn't care about you.
You’re tired, your glasses are dirty and you’ve been quietly hitting the Tia Maria, I hate to break it to you but it wasn’t a pheasant you were talking to – it was a discarded Wellington boot.
Now doesn’t your nephew or son want the telephone number of Childline? I don’t mind finding it out for them, if it would help?
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