Before I start writing I better warn you that the errors are on the rise. Every time I read over something again lately I spot another one. Mind you, I bet everyone is used to it by now.

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I talk about almost anything here – I’m a fairly open person, definitely what you see is what you get. I like to think that by sharing my experiences in some way it helps others. From the e-mails I’ve received talking about depression most certainly did. There is a fear attached to that word – but not as much as there was. People are now more aware of it and the reasons for it. The old adage ‘there for the grace of God, go I’ is very apt. Obviously depression covers a wide range of things and most certainly some people are more prone to it than others. But it’s one of life’s levellers. It has no respect for age, race, sex, colour or creed. And sometimes just knowing that someone has experienced what you’re going through helps.

So being so open also makes me fairly trusting too. I welcome people into my home and treat them as family. This made the incident that happened this past weekend all the harder to accept, understand and most definitely share.

To cut a long story short, money went missing and the person who took it was a very close family friend. I’m not the first person this has happened to and I know I won’t be the last. I wasn’t even sure if I’d ever feel that I could mention it here – but I do use the blog to put my thoughts in order. Sometimes just writing something down means you can let it go, which I hope will be the case. Closure.

I’ve gone through so many emotions over the last few days; disbelief, sadness, guilt and anger to name but a few. It’s made me realise that trust is such a brittle thing and once it has been broken I don’t know if you can ever fully give it again. It's not that easy to turn the other cheek. This hasn’t just affected me; it’s affected my family and my friend’s family. At the moment I seem to be stuck at the angry stage, it’s not the fact the money was taken or even that the person who took it doesn’t seem that bothered. I’m angry because his actions could have destroyed a friendship that no amount of money would ever compensate for. I certainly hope that we can work through it and that it won’t change a friendship that means the world to me. Only time will tell with that one.

Being an only child has always meant that friendship has been an integral part of my life, my friends fill a gap, a missing piece that only a single child would really understand. For most of my childhood I didn’t particularly mind, but there were times when I felt I was missing out. Christmas, family holidays.

Friendship becomes even more important as you grow older and realise it’s true worth. My internet friends, although I've never physically met them & possibly I never will, have also come to mean a tremendous amount to me and I think it's fair to say they’ve had a positive impact on my life.

Emails are shared nearly everyday between a small group and I was welcomed into that. I don't think I need to mention names, most of you will be able to work it out and one person is very private, which I also respect. They certainly didn't have to include me and I'm sure there have been times when they've wondered just what they'd taken on.

Looking back to when I joined LS, I didn't have a clue just how important a step I'd just taken or how much the people I met there would come to mean to me. I asked for help and Chris replied, quickly introducing me to Scally, the path then led me to the others. Each one of them accepting me for myself - the good and the bad bits. Scally joked yesterday that we were all nearly family – to which I suggested a kinky version of the Adams family - but as the saying goes, many a true word is spoken in jest. I know I would be deeply upset if I lost contact with any of them now. They earned my trust and in return gave me theirs. It took a while to see that, that they trusted me as much as I trusted them. It's not something that I'll ever take lightly and it's probably the greatest gift you can ever bestow on anyone. If I've learnt nothing else from this weekend, I've learnt that. Anyone who reads my blog will also know that I like to say thank you when someone helps me. Such a small word and not used nearly enough these day.

So, thank you Scally for constantly being there for me over the last few days at a time when I don't think I really knew myself how to deal with the situation. Part of me so badly wanted to just hide away and lick my wounds. I needed a shoulder to cry on, I’m so glad you were around. Thank you for putting up with me repeating everything over and over again and for making the time so that I could do just that. I needed to work through it. Lastly, thank you for the good advice and putting everything in to perspective. For being so level headed and helping me to find my smile again. Beyond all doubt I now know that some things are worth fighting for and that’s just what I’m going to do.

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A few more photos from the weekend out and about in Stourport.