I received my first Birthday present yesterday. Yes, all very exciting. A present for me! OK, it’s not actually my Birthday till Sunday so Dilys told me not to open it. Not to open it, this from a woman who knows me, can you believe it?

I showed a great deal of maturity in my reply of ‘Oh, Dilys, as if I would’. I showed an even greater deal of restraint by leaving the unopened gift under my desk all day – it just sat there taunting me. It kept staring at me – flaunting its pretty paper and bows, honestly it did. But I refused to be taken in by its provocative manner; I ignored its pretentious display and extravagant pose.

Well I did until I got home – then I opened it. Oh come on, you didn’t expect me to actually leave it until Sunday did you? How long have you been reading this blog? You should be marvelling that I managed to leave it alone that long. If it hadn’t been for the fact that it was payroll day I’d had gone home at lunchtime and opened it then.

The bag contained three gifts too – she really had spoilt me. I received a very nice bottle of wine, a box of Marks and Spencer chocolates and a glass trinket box. I had a hell of a job getting a picture, the glass and the mirror in the bottom kept reflecting the light. I saved the Birthday card until Sunday.

When I rang her up to say thank you she wasn’t at all surprised that I’d already opened it – she was more surprised by the fact that I’d left it alone all day. She’d thought the box would be ideal for keeping my belly bars in.

I don’t particularly enjoy this time of the year – everything comes together – my Birthday, a week later would have been my mum’s Birthday and then Mother’s day. I sometimes find it quite difficult to get into the right mood to celebrate, although my mum wouldn't have been pleased that I felt that way. I'm feeling pressurised to put on a show of everything being just fine, when in fact it isn’t and I feel a bit low. I’m genuinely torched that so many people want to show they care and it means a lot to me, but I don’t want to do the big celebration dinner out with family and friends this year - I just want to spend it quietly at home.

And of course if I’m not careful I’ll just get railroaded into it. There are rumblings already from several quarters. I won’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings so I’ll back down and what should have been my day, will if I’m not careful, get taken over and the decision made for me. Oh well, I suppose it’s hardly the end of the world if it does and just reading back over this makes me think that I sound ungrateful. And I’m not, because it would be awful if no one bothered but I just want to spend this birthday doing something I want to do. I still want to see family and friends, but spread out over the day, not in one big noisy crowd.