The trouble with taking time off is all the work you didn’t do is still there when you get back – so after recent discussions I thought I’d try not to be so helpful to my colleagues. That probably sounds awful, but as everyone thinks I can sort all manner of problems out at the blink of an eye and as long as they tell me it will get sorted, the hard nose approach is the only way to ensure I don’t disappear up my own arse.

I didn’t expect it to be easy, for a start I’ve always asked how high? When someone says jump. So I was pleasantly surprised when I found the techniques actually worked.

The telling someone what to do and then putting your head down and carrying on with your own work. A few minutes of them standing there with me ignoring them and they wandered off and sort it out themselves.

The demands to know when I will be doing something because they need the information this very minute, if not sooner – countered with ‘I’ve got this claim to run today that is worth thousands of pounds – do you want me to stop doing it? Because if it isn’t uploaded to the website by 5 p.m. it won’t get claimed for another 4 weeks’. Which is more important?

The Receptionist telling me the alarm kept sounding as if it was broken – the odd beep every five minutes was countered with what would you have done if I hadn’t been here today? She would have rung the alarm company or spoken to Simon. Off you go then, I’m sure you’ll soon have it sorted.

I was feeling very pleased with myself. Fancy not doing this before, quite smuggly cocky in fact and as the saying goes, pride comes before a fall, I just didn’t see it coming.

In comes Sam - the printer isn’t working.

Really? (Like do I care?)

Yes, it keeps blocking when you use it.

Unblock it then, there’ll be a bit of paper stuck somewhere, turn it off, open the cover and look for it (Puts head down and carries on working).

Sam wanders off.

Ten Minutes later Sam wanders back in ….

I can’t get this part to fit back in the machine.

Which to be honest isn’t at all surprising – it was never meant to be taken out of the machine to start with. The silly bugger had taken the printer apart, the idiot - never leave a screwdriver anywhere a man can see it. It's all to do with male hormones, they just can't help themselves - it's just a different form of screwing. I made him call the company to come out and fix it. He’d found the bit of paper through.

Now every five minutes I get someone sticking their head around the door asking me when the printer is going to be working again. Yes, I have stuck a notice on the bloody thing and they still ask the question. Telling them to read the notice has resulted in a few comments of – what’s the matter with you? You’re in a bad mood today.

Never mind, I just need more practise at working out what I should still do and what I shouldn’t. Rome wasn’t built in a day.