I’ve spent five minutes staring at myself in the mirror and no matter how hard I look I still can’t see it. I’ve tried it with the light on and the light off – still nothing. What am I looking for? The word ‘Sucker’ tattooed across my forehead, that’s what.

I had a pre-arranged meeting yesterday morning, with a representative from Mencap regarding the new contract we’ve got with them. The work involved in preparing for the meeting was spilt between myself and the Team Leader in charge of the project. Due to Himself’s hospital appointment on Thursday I didn’t get into work to finish all that I needed to do, so being the conscientious sort I went in there Thursday night, downloaded what I needed to a memory stick and took it home to finish.

Come Friday morning, although I wasn’t a 100% satisfied with what I got, I at least had something to show that the foundations were well in place, and of course the Team Leader would be able to back me up with his side of things.

Our receptionist let me know that our visitor had arrived and I ask her to tell the Team Leader. She couldn’t, she said, he wasn’t here, he was off sick. What? Yes, Simon had told her this morning. Great, bloody great – and no one had thought to tell me. Unfortunate moment for Simon, who walked past my door at that point and got smited. I’m afraid that lack of sleep in my case, does not a happy person make. Simon, well aware of what I’m like when I’m pissed off, hid under the desk and waited for the storm to pass by. He only came out when I promised not to castrate him. He might want another child.

Much grovelling followed. Yes, he did know about the meeting but had genuinely forgotten to tell me about the Team Leader being ill. He was sorry, very sorry – he knew how important it was. I got the receptionist to show our visitor to the meeting room and get her a drink while I got the Team Leaders side of things together. It didn’t take long, and why is that you ask? Simple – the bastard had hardly done anything. What a coincidence that he was ill on the day he should have been presenting his findings.

Fucking wonderful, and yes, I am allowed to swear, it’s my blog and I can’t be arsed to put stars in place of the characters. I had a meeting to attend with only half of the information that I needed. On top of which I wasn’t functioning properly due to lack of sleep.

The outcome – I got through it, maybe not my greatest performance, but the lady from Mencap went away happy. Well fairly happy at any rate – I highlighted a few discrepancies regarding ESF paperwork and she would now have to sort them out. But I think she still likes me.

++++


Christmas friend paid a visit last night, walked in as if nothing had happened and started to tell me about her week. I was left once again feeling totally bemused. I did think about bringing it up in the conversation but she made it obvious that she didn’t want to talk about it, and I suppose I’ve got to the stage now that I really can’t be arsed to try to sort it out between us. Not that I should have to, she being the one who didn’t want to play nicely last week. Sad really, I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same way about her again.


++++



While filling in Himself’s sick note on Thursday night, I got to the part where you enter the date. My stomach sank...oh Gods...11th January – only Tracy’s Birthday – and I’d forgotten. I’d remembered it at the start of the week and I knew what I wanted to buy her, I’d seen it last week in a local shop but didn’t have time to go in and buy it. She collects fairies and I knew she’d love this one.

But with everything that had gone on it had totally slipped my mind. I rang her, apologised - don’t worry about it she said, she’d just milk it for all it was worth for the rest of the year. I explained about Himself and started to apologise again, she totally ignored me and started to ask questions. We carried on talking over each other for a couple of minutes, until she told me to stop being a silly cow and shut up – charming!

It didn’t matter, we did things for each other all year round, forget the birthday it wasn’t important. Now, what could she do to help me? But it was important to me, I didn’t want her to think I didn’t care or value what we had. If I didn’t shut up, she said, she was going to have to buy me that bloody awful ‘special friends’ necklace that we keep threatening each other with. I soon put her straight on that one, if she ever brought me one of those she had better keep a very close eye on all her Westlife pictures, because they would all start spouting moustaches.

I went into town during my lunch break on Friday and got the present, then got a bollocking for my trouble – did I really think she was so self centred? And that she gave a flying fuck about me forgetting? Apparently I looked like crap – never one for beating about the brush – what the hell was I playing at rushing around trying to do everything. Yes, she loved the present, she was really chuffed with it, and she really appreciated me taking the time to go and get it, but it wouldn’t have made a blind bit of difference to our friendship if I’d missed this year.

I know that, we been though good times and bad and in all the years we’ve known each other, I can honestly say, we’ve never fallen out. We openly disagree about things and will always tell the other honestly what we think, but that’s it. We don’t judge each other. We don’t play games.

When the kids were little, both families spent a week together sharing a caravan in Cornwall – I knew then that I’d found a special friend – nine people living in close proximity and not a cross word.