Friday night and Christmas friend’s husband turned up without friend. She wasn’t coming he said, because she felt that I’d spent more time with Tracy than with her on New Years Eve and she didn’t feel that I’d made her very welcome.

This from the woman who I'd entertained all over Christmas - the same woman who brought a bottle of wine for New Years Eve - drank all our alcohol, got well bladdered, and then took the bottle she brought back with her.

Now a few months ago, that would have really upset me - I would then have been on the phone to her saying how sorry I was, asking her to forgive me. In my mind, without a doubt, it would have been something I’d done.

It suddenly dawned on me how much I’ve moved on over the last six months, that I’ve started to become my old self again. Yes, God help everyone. I most certainly didn’t get to this stage by myself – I’ve had help. Not just from Himself – who took controlled when I hit the depths of despair and very slowly stepped back as I started to move forward again. Help from friends who wouldn’t have know just what an affect their friendship has had on me.

People who are honest with me, down to earth and straight forward and accept me for myself, it’s amazing how difficult it is to find people like that, have helped me gain confidence and self belief again.

New Years Eve was the first time I'd really seen Tracy for about a month. I spent time with everyone at the party and yes, I probably did spend a bit more time with Trace, but Maggie had me all to herself for 3 days - 3 days where I waited hand and foot on her, her son and everyone else. I happen to think I was entitled to do something for me.

So come Friday night - I thought, sod you. I imagine Maggie thought I'd ring her up and ask what I'd done to upset her – that’s exactly what I have done in the past, when she’s got funny over something. Assumed it was my fault, and apologised.

Not any more I’m afraid, she would be learning the hard way. I refuse to play her silly games - because it is a mind game, a way of controlling people, and the days of people having that sort of control over me are long gone.

I have lots of friends, all different and I get enjoyment from all of them. If she can't accept that, then I'm afraid she is going to miss out. I told Mick that she was still welcome next week, but I wasn't going to apologise for enjoying myself on New Years Eve. If she’d had a problem with it she should have still come to see me and then talked it through, as most normal adults would. I know he felt embarrassed by her behaviour, but it’s hardly his fault – she’s long out of the playground and should know better than that.

++++


Monday Morning and what have I achieved so far on my ‘to do list’? Ten fifths of bugger all, that’s what.

What I have accomplished hitherto, is to replace the soap in the toilet – it would appear no one else knows how to do it, the process being in line with rocket science. There was a bit left on Friday and I know for a fact, as the door is opposite my office, that people have been in there since then. Which does make me question the level of personal hygiene of some of the staff around here.

I’ve also removed a keypad lock from one of the doors, as it wouldn’t allow anyone in. They were stood around like a flock of sheep – bleating like mad. It’s bloody amazing what you can achieve with a Phillips screwdriver and a bit of elbow grease.

I’ve rung the company that services our photocopier to get them to visit. No, I’ve not broken it this time, it’s developed a squeak. A very loud squeak – I’d go as far as to say, a very loud annoying squeak. As we’ve had a move around at work, the photocopying and stationery room is now next to my office. If they don’t come out and remove the mouse in the machine soon, I’m going to have to have a look at it myself – with the aid of a sledge hammer.

And lastly, I’ve tracked down a NHS dentist for Craig, who’s had a raging toothache all weekend and hasn’t been able to get in anywhere. This probably proved to be the most difficult and time consuming of the tasks I’ve undertook this morning – you can’t find a NHS dentist for love or money around here. Never mind twelve phone calls later and I got him an appointment for 1.15pm, ten miles away.

And now to work…