And the prize at work for the person most likely to be lynched by the mob goes to….Craig, the Nine Step Wonder.

The contract on the works mobiles ended yesterday and the Finance Department in their wisdom (questionable that one) decided to change service providers from Orange to 02. As the mobiles are only a year old and being a charity, it was decided that we’d keep the phones and just change the sim cards inside.

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The idiot’s guide on how not to change a sim card in a mobile phone.


Step One: Craig gives everyone a new sim card and the instructions on how to change it.

Step Two: Craig finds out the hard way that you can’t just put a new sim card into the mobile. You have to get the phone unlock from Orange to any other network. I did mention that point at Step One – but I’m a woman, what would I know about technical processes?

Step Three: None of the mobiles are now working – Orange having cut us off at 9.30 a.m. No one can contact anybody and if anything went wrong with the staff out with clients, well let’s not go there. I suppose if a client did start to play up you could always throw the mobile at them, ringing for help being out of the question.

Step Four: Craig rings Orange to see if they will give us the code. Of course they will – at a cost of £20.00 per mobile (I saw that one coming as well).

Step Five: Major discussion takes place in Finance Department to decide on the best way forward. After half an hour a decision is made to collect in all the mobiles and take then into town to get them unlocked, which will cost £10.00 per mobile. Forward planning, the heart of a good Finance Department – which tells you a lot about Laurel and Hardy in ours.

Step Six: Craig collects all the mobiles (and this included him trying to track down everyone who was off site – write off the best part of the day).

Step Seven: After collecting the mobiles and getting them opened up to accept the 02 sim card, Craig in his wisdom cuts up all the old sim cards in the shop.

Step Eight: Craig returns mobiles to their owners.

Step Nine: Everyone finds out that the ‘silly man’ hadn’t bothered to transfer the information from the old sim card to the mobile. Resulting in the lost of every mobile number and text message you had saved on your phone.

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To say I was a little miffed is an understatement. Over half of the numbers on my mobile I don’t have stored anywhere else. Not just personal and work colleagues, but all of my HR contacts and college contacts have gone.

Of course the fun really started when I got a couple of text messages – I hadn’t got a clue who they were off. You feel a right fool having to contact the person to find out. Looking on the bright side that was two numbers I could programme back in.